All morning I've been wondering what that smell is.
It's me.
But it doesn't smell like me.
It is perfumey and sweet and floral.
Sometimes I feel like I try things on that aren't me, but I try to make them me. And maybe they'll become me. Like the flat ironed hair I tried out for months. The red lipstick. Ballet flats or even the fancy heels. A pretty purse instead of an actual bag that holds everything I need.
The older I get, the less patience I have for myself when I play dress up. I feel stiff, self conscious. I hold my body differently, and I am less at ease with my every day choices, it even impacts how I am with my children. Because I'm trying to be someone I'm not, through clothing or an image I have in my head.
When I slip into who I am... I can be here, present and engaged. So today, I reached to the back of my t-shirt drawer and found a shirt that I have been putting aside because I swore I wasn't there yet. I wasn't ready to be me so openly.
But I am.
I pulled out my comfy typewriter t-shirt that I swore I would only wear when I could consider myself a writer.
I slipped it on, with a bit of courage, and it is the comfiest shirt I own. It is soft, and it screams me. With a pair of soft corduroy pants, my favorite crazy colored beaded bracelet, my curly hair going a bit nuts around my head... I'm here. I'm on the floor playing with my kids. I am breathing in the crispness of my favorite season. I am smiling.
I am courageously me. Creative. Inspired. Perhaps even daring.
And ready to go find my regular deodorant....
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Written with the prompt from the Creative Inspiration post from Bigger Picture Blogs. Check it out on our facebook page.
Corinne I love your tshirt and also that you feel like a writer. Of course you are a writer! One of my favorite writers and I have read and read and read.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderfully introspective look at how styles either fit us or not.
The odd thing about being a writer is having a story that needs to be told one way or another and my dear- you are a writer. And we (as writers) will always criticize our own work because we are always striving to write the perfect story. But it is YOUR story. The same goes with your style. Your style (fashion) and your voice (writing) are you. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
ReplyDeleteAlita
I'm with you on the red lipstick - every time I wear it I feel like I'm a little girl playing in my mom's makeup
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THIS!!! And I soooo totally want a typewriter t-shirt. Anyone who tells a story is a writer and you my dear are a writer through and through. Yippeee!
ReplyDeleteI love your shirt and your words! Do you type when you write or write it somewhere else first and then type it? Just curious...I do the latter. I've tried the other way, but like you said...it doesn't really smell like me. :)
ReplyDeletei love it corinne... and the way i can feel that discomfort you describe. how important it is to be "me." xoxo
ReplyDeleteI positively hate not having the right deoderant. And I love that shirt! Good writing, Ms. Corinne!
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