treasure

my son draws pictures for me. some of just me. some of both of us. many of us holding hands and going past a volcano {a current fascination...} through hot lava to get to a rainbow filled sky. my daughter makes me hearts. she'll fill pages upon pages with heart doodles. she'll cut them out of paper, find them on the beach by way of rocks. 

i'm finding my way back to them. to the treasure hunts for hearts and treasure found in pieces of sea glass or a special rock in the driveway. we've seen two rainbows {one a double} outside of our windows recently. and we saw the brilliance of each color, and how they meld together to make a beautiful, awe inspiring event. 

my babies are having to be patient with me these days. i've weaned myself off of medication that went from helping my anxieties and depression to creating a fog in my brain. there are ups and downs, but i can feel them. and work through them. i'm ever so thankful for the help the medication offered when i so desperately needed it, but now... it was time. 

i can cry again. i found that i couldn't. for a while. through my mom's surgery. through deaths. through horrible god awful news. and now i can again, and i appreciate the tear streaked face that i see now and then. there is treasure in the stains that tears leave behind. 

we are collectors, my little ones and me. i'm collecting emotions again. they are collecting bits of me. we are collecting smiles and drawings and hearts. 

and brilliant rainbows.